||[Jun. 25th, 2008|11:19 pm]
Things I dislike from work:|
- $20 bills. Okay, in most cases, they're right to pay with. or maybe you just came from an ATM and that's all you have in cash. Happens to me a lot. But if whatever you're buying costs $3.16 and you pull out a wad of cash (I can see those $5 and $10 bills in there, you tightwad) and hand me a twenty and no freaking penny, I have a hard time thinking of your excuse. And your change will not be rapidly forthcoming because there's so much of it.
- People who think we are a library. We are not. We are a business who is losing some money as it is. There's a small but steady group of people who'll buy something, keep it for a week or two, then return it. "I missed the test." "We ended up going somewhere else for vacation." They know it's bullshit, I know it's bullshit, they know I know, but whatever, they're mostly regulars and their money is good and they only do it with a few items apiece. But if you're going to ask me about our return policy, contemplate in silence for a minute, and then announce that you intend to return this POS spirituality book in two weeks after reading it, what the hell do you expect? Me to go, "Okay"? I was so confused by this woman that my brain shut down and I rang her up on autopilot and in silence. Not even a "goodnight," I was so confused. There's a library a mile away. Use it.
- People who give me shit for store and company and industry policies. Look, I think the bathroom tokens are a stupid idea too. But hey, there's no secret employee entrance or, Heaven forbid, an employee bathroom (God, I wish there was). I can't control that. Look, I know it's a bitch that you can't return that on your terms, but our policies are clearly stated in like three places in the transaction and they're still one of the most lenient in the industry. I can't control that. Sorry, I can't sell you the book three days before the release date. Because it's a release date, that's why. No, sir, it means the book isn't allowed to be sold until it is available to the general public. Sorry, sir, I do not get paid enough to have the big men in dark suits from Random House come to my house and pay me a visit. (Wow, is he trying to bribe me?). Just come back on Tuesday, sir.
All of these things are orders of magnitude beyond me. If I had any pull in this store/company/industry, why the hell am I standing behind the register trying to will my feet into not hurting?
- Stackers. Hey you, the one who takes out eight really large magazines, flips through them while drinking your coffee, and then leaves them strewn about a table, come here so I can scald you. You, the one who left that stack of twenty three CDs in the pop section either to steal them or just make life difficult for us [true story], you get in line.
- People who can't deal with being solicited. Look, in this economy we have to fight for every dollar. That means luring over customers from our competitors. How do we do it? </strike>Volume!</strike> With a membership savings plan different from the ones our competitors have. I have to ask for the card. It's a requirement from Way Up High, and in fact the quota for the store has been raised. I'm supposed to ask everyone, but I don't. If someone doesn't speak English it's not worth the effort, and if someone is double parked it's not worth the ticket (though I do want to smack them one). You might not be a fan of me asking you maybe up to two very quick questions, but please, please, PLEASE do not interrupt me with a curt "No," for I refuse to be cut off and will still ask the whole goddamn question. You just make yourself look like more of a jackass by interrupting me with Nos seven times. Corporate bullshit aside, it's actually a pretty good program for being FREE.
- People who toss their method of payment at me. It makes me want to use it to end you.
- People who are on the phone while buying something, or even worse, starting a phone call while walking up to the freaking register. If a customer says something like "hold on, I'll call back in a minute, I'm ringing something up," they endear themselves to me forever. Wow, this person has a grasp of basic common courtesy! I like them! If you continue gabbing away (more often than not about stupid shit), my rage grows by the second. This is also applicable to people with portable media players. Pause it, or at least take one goddamn earbud out.
In unrelated news, Parade is fan-fucking-tastic. This is by far the best-sounding WST orchestra I've been in. The cast sounds excellent this early in the season. I am so excited.